Wednesday, December 4, 2013

CHRISTMAS

Christmas is about to come. This is the month that I will enjoy the most. God has been too nice to me, every single day. I can’t remember the last time He did bad things to me. It’s like everything in my life happens for a good reason. A wise man said, it’s not happy people who are thankful, but it’s a thankful people who are happy.  I think that’s true. Whatever it is, I thank God for my life, for myself, and I do happy :)
 
Back to Christmas. The air of Christmas brings me joy. With all the rain to the world and maybe snow to the other world, everything seems more beautiful and peaceful. I enjoy every minute of it. I don’t want Christmas to be over soon, cause then it will be year-end event and then 2014 will take my youth cause I’ll turn 24 soon :(

I do count my age. It will be awesome if my age could stop at 23 for 3 years ahead, but it seems impossible. Blahh, well then, that’s all for today. Enjoy this month, fellas! CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS :)

Saturday, November 2, 2013

A good times to come ;)

Don't you think it's funny, how people act to their life. We consider our problems are hard and others' are simpler and if only we have that problems and not this one, we can solve it. So, should we just switch our problems? Switching life?

I watch people hanging out with their friends and their lovers in quite, talking to their smartphones. And i just sit here, in the very corner of the coffee shop, clicking around over my laptop. A man and another girl are just like me. Talking with their selves, keeping their mind busy with this heavy tablet. I think, just like me, they need to do this to keep them sane. Being alone without being lonely.

My heart is still trying to find happiness without the love i know being around. One by one, these emptiness are gone, and i start to be grateful for what happened. I know that eventually the world will not always give us a hard time. My part is to keep living and prepare myself for the good times to come. Nah, i don't want to switch my life with anybody.

Ciao now.

PEOPLE, WORLD AND WAR

I have to admit, sometimes i feel like i've been trapped between this age, this body and this disturbing mind. I am 23 now and currently in office i've been friends with boys and girl older than me. I don't know why, but these boys and girl who are finally i can get along with. And maybe two or three of them said that i'm an old girl. My brain sounds older than just twenty-three.

I don't know why, but i feel like it's kinda true. I start to realise that most of the times, when people start to bugging around, complaining about their life, their jobs, their everything, when other people might just have nothing, i just tired. And i start to shut myself from them. Well, you all need to start to realise that we make our l i f e. We make our life and we make it like this, and so if we don't like it, we can just change it instead of complaining over and over again. Some people just stop at "i don't like it" and do not continue to the "changing it to be like that" part. So who should i blame? The world? Oh no. I should blame you. And without doubt or guilty feeling, i will blame you.

Cause everybody has problem and sometimes it is much much bigger than yours and they make it. They live a happy life. And you? Well, if they can, you can. That's always be the basic principal in life, isn't it? And please don't turn yourself into a hater. I'm just sick of it. Whenever you feel like you're about to make unnecessary comment about somebody else, ask yourself, can you do what they do?

So, to sum up, life is a war. Everyday, it is a war. It is a war with yourself and time is ticking. Cause time ain't gonna stop whether you like your life or you're not. So make your time valuable. Use it to enjoy your life, and still if you don't, use it to change your life to become one.

XoXo,
Alice.

Cinta tanpa suara.

Mungkin kita adalah sepasang kekasih itu. Kekasih hati yang tahu mencintai, tapi tak tahu memiliki. Kekasih yang lebih tau mencintai saat terpisah kata, terpisah rasa. Kekasih yang selalu merasa kurang saat bersama dan selalu bertanya-tanya apakah memang dia adanya. Namun saat peluk tak lagi bisa dijangkau, di situlah hati meyakini satu sama lain.

Atau mungkin memang cerita kita tak berakhir di sini. Akan tiba saatnya kau kembali lalu aku memaki tapi kau kan tetap kembali. Mungkin dari sekian banyak skenario yang bisa ku pikirkan, ini adalah skenario terbaik. Lalu kita kan bersama, beranak cucu berdua. Ku buatkan kau kopi pahitmu setiap pagi dan kau dengarkan celotehku saat kembali dari pengejaran hari.

Namun yang paling mungkin sedang terjadi adalah sebenarnya aku mencintai dan kau tidak. Sesederhana itu. Aku mencintai dan kau tidak. Dan sulit sekali hati mengerti. Sulit ku memahami. Karna lalu buat apa cintaku? Buat apa pedihku? Kenapa harus ada pihak-pihak seperti aku? Lalu ada pihak-pihak seperti kamu. Dan nanti akan ada pihak-pihak seperti dia, yang memenangkan hatimu? Kesedihan ini nyata, senyata rasa cinta yang tak kunjung henti. Senyata harap yang tak segera habis.

-Aku.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Magic Medicine

Writing for me is like a medicine. I am all my works these days and my head can’t stop pounding. But then, in a time like this, I just put aside everything, put my headset on and write. And suddenly I am in my world again. I exist and I am me again. I can’t imagine a person without his or her medicine, what his or her world would be like. With all of these things going on in adults world, work problems, money problems, relationship stuff and all that, for how long people can stand-still without their medicine? I think that’s maybe why people going like literally crazy.

And then I realise, if now I am in this hard time and I can and will through it all with the help of writing, there must be other times when this kind of situation happened, cause well my life no matter how I want it to be simple, sometimes it gets too complicated for my little brain. And yes, it happens a lot of times when I began to remember. This magic medicine. I guess it helps me through a lot of things.

And now, when I became real aware of it, I realise, if I have this simple medicine, and every hard time in my 23 years of life I can manage, what should I be too afraid of about tomorrow? Nothing no? Yes, nothing. I just need to stop, put my headset on and write. And then I am in my world again. Despite all of the craziness happens around me. And this smile, I won’t make it disappear for this piece of papers. Cause you know, eventually it's all up to you, pals. WHAT YOU GAVE UP AND WHAT YOU DON'T. So choose what's best. For you, not for anyone but you.

Cheers!
Alice, 09 Oct 13

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

A real deal.

When people are in sick, they start to see things differently. They imagine if life would give them more times, more chances. People start to think about things they do not even care about before. How other people will remember or honored them. Will people come to their funerals? Do they say I love you quite often to people they care about. What’s the meaning of their life? What’s their meaning for life itself? For the world? Are they even matter?

People start to think about life after death. Is heaven a real deal? And if it is, will they deserve it? And then in order to answer the question, they start to do more kindness.

Knowing the thing, now, when things start to seem like falling apart, I imagine myself stand at my final stage of life. I am weak and very sick. What will I do over the falling if I am sick? Will I keep being so angry or I’ll forgive? Will I give up or surviving? A wise man once said, every wheel must be spinning. If you already know the fact, when your wheel is low, you just need to survive, cause eventually it will spin again.

So, keep surviving, folks, even in your hardest time :)

-Alice

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

here i stand with my silly eyes and empty heart. looking for the best way to ignore you. not you you, but you in my head.

Kata Perempuan

Aku tak tahu kenapa zaman sekarang ini orang-orang sering mengasosiasikan perempuan dengan kebendaan, harta dan lainnya. Perempuan zaman sekarang ngga mau hidup susah dan ngga mau diajak susah. Sementara sebagai perempuan itu sendiri, dan aku yakin banyak perempuan-perempuan lain juga merasakan hal yang sama, yang aku butuh cuma laki-laki yang laki-laki. Laki-laki yang berpindah ke sisi jalan ketika kita akan menyeberang, laki-laki yang ngga pernah merasa canggung untuk bilang I love you, laki-laki yang dengan berat hati bilang maaf ya aku belum bisa beliin barang yang kamu mau waktu kita curhat kalo kita lagi bokek padahal pingin sesuatu, laki-laki yang willingly merasa bertanggung jawab atas kita. Setidaknya itu yang aku ingat dari kikin.

Jadi aku rasa salah kalau perempuan diidentikkan dengan semuanya itu, kita cuma perempuan after all, kita butuh imam, butuh pelindung, kita butuh pemimpin, kita butuh merasa aman. Kita cuma perempuan dan kalian cuma laki-laki, kita berbeda tapi membutuhkan hal yang sama. Kita butuh dicintai dengan tulus seperti kalian juga berharap ada perempuan yang mencintai kalian dengan tulus tanpa memandang harta dan rupa. Sama kan? Kebutuhan kita yang beda, cinta yang kita anggap tulus itu yang beda, dan kita harap kalian mau mengerti, seperti kami juga mau mengerti bahwa kalian butuh banyak waktu for your brotherhood thingy tanpa interruption dari kita. Kita harap kalian mengerti bahwa kami juga punya kebutuhan, yang mungkin berbeda, dan ketika kebutuhan itu datang, kami tidak ingin disebut sebagai perempuan yang banyak mau dan sebagainya. Kita hanya berharap kalian mengerti, seperti kami juga mengerti.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Confession

Now, after more than half of year, i have to admit that i am no longer dating the man whom i usually said as my perfect match. Not that he's no longer my perfect match. But apparently, i am not his perfect match. Too bad it is.. But life it is..

But, to sum up, i am a survivor, and i survive, or surviving. And, to be underlined, i don't blame anyone. It's just what life gives me. And i take it as journey. Always a journey, my life :). You know what makes me sad the most? Knowing that i'm no longer having a lover who was able to continue my sentence before i even finished it. But it's okay, cause ya we're (and by we i mean me and anyone who feels the same) the type of guy who don't die easily. We are all Bruce Willis in real life.

The last part of it, i want to share something pretty funny i guess, to get it from the broken-up thingy. This is my broken-hearted-steps, haha, :

DAY 1 & 2  |  Feel sad and betrayed
DAY 3 & 4  |  Blaming myself
DAY 5  |  Feel angry
DAY 6 - 20  |  Feel messed up
DAY 21 - 23  |  Feel stupid
DAY 24 - present  |  Feel better, but keep looking the way to move on

Do you feel the same?

K I T E

Currently, I have new hobby and activity. Developing my brand. Yeayy!! The name is K I T E. Later, it will sell any fashion items for men and women. Now, I'm starting with bags. Love it love it love it.

For me, K I T E is a journey. When I took a walk and see many stores with its brand written big on top of the entrance wall, I always imagine K I T E will be next to them, somehow, someday. K I T E is classic and I like classic. Classic could bring its value in a simplest way without hurting eyes by putting too much attributes. So, since it's quite a journey, follow the path, follow K I T E.
Fly up high and CHEERS!



- Visit http://wearkite.blogspot.com for your fashion items -

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Three Steps to Help You Find PASSION

Udah lama ya gw ga nulis tentang passion. Feels forever! The fact is gw nemuin pemikiran baru tentang passion. Coba deh inget-inget, semua cerita tentang pengejaran akan passion itu patternnya selalu sama. Orang yang suka sama sesuatu, awalnya ada hambatan, but they keep doing it and voala akhirnya mereka bisa kerja di passion mereka and like they have everything in life, happiness, balance and so on. Dan mereka SUKSES. Tapi pernah ga sih kita denger kisah dari seseorang yang pada akhirnya ga berhasil mengejar passionnya? Apakah mereka masih akan menganggap hal tersebut sebagai passion mereka dan mengakui kegagalannya? Ya iyalah Donald Trump bilang bisnis itu passionnya, ya dia Donald Trump, nyong, tapi pasti ada kan Si Budi yang juga punya passion yang sama? Tapi ada dia masih bisa bilang bisnis itu passionnya?

Jadi apa sih sebenernya passion? Ada ngga sih sebenernya? Kalo ada sih pasti ada sih, karena gimana pun juga kita ga boleh melupakan fact bahwa memang ada orang-orang yang sangat suka menari-dilarang orang tua-keep doing it-dan berhasil menjadi penari. Gw percaya itu ada. Tapi ada satu permasalahan lagi nih, ga semua orang tau apa passionnya. Some people are like born to be this and that. Deddy Cobuzier for example. Dalam salah satu TV shownya, dia cerita kalo dari kecil dia udah suka sama magic, di saat anak-anak lainnya mungkin bermain hal umum yang lain. Lalu ada satu orang yang somehow adalah kenalan keluarganya yang adalah seorang magician. Belajarlah Deddy ke orang ini. Sampe orang tuanya marah ke orang ini karena nilai akademiknya Deddy jadi anjlok. Tapi si orang ini cuma bilang ke orang tuanya Deddy, "ya iyalah nilai dia anjlok, he was born to be a magician, never an academician". Masalahnya, bung, gampang aja orang-orang bilang kerja di passion lo dong biar happy, tapi ga semua orang born that way! Most of us didn't know where to put our step. CURANG kan?! Emang iya. Liat deh poinnya, Deddy ini lahir dengan udah punya kesukaan yang mendalam terhadap sesuatu dan actually dia bisa melakukan sesuatu itu good enough than anybody else. Apa namanya kalo bukan curang coba...

Nah terus yang nyebelin juga adalah, kebanyakan orang-orang sukses itu cuma ngasih tau kalo kita harus kerja di passion kita yang nenek-nenek idiot juga udah tau. Tanpa mereka ngasih tips dalam pencarian passion itu sendiri yang lebih jelas dari sekedar "ketemu banyak orang, lakuin banyak hal baru". Well, i did all that without you telling, man. Nah berangkat dari semua pemikiran itu yang gw yakin ga cuman gw yang ngerasain hal yang sama, gw mau sharing dikit tentang proses penemuan passion kita nih. Gw dapet ini setelah gw cerita-cerita sama salah satu director di kantor gw. Dan gw rasa tips yang dia kasih cukup bisa diaplikasikan secara step by step, ga ngawang dan absurd. So here we go.

Three steps to be followed in order to help you find your passion:
1. Find your five top values in life
As mine are: flexible, balance, love, money and appearance.
2. Find three things that makes you thrilled for the last two months
Mine are inspiration by Ironman 3 movie, discovery by my last traveling to Santolo Beach and value-adding by my new role as senior associate in my office.
3. Ask in mind, what could it be? The work that could make you achieve number 1 & 2.

As simple as that. GOOD LUCK MATE!

A Journey

Sometimes I feel sad, for what has happened in my life. But not regrets. Never regrets. It's just a feeling where I lost some important things in my life, loosing moments, loosing people and the feeling of a realisation where I could never win them back. But life must go on. And i must continue. Continue my journey.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Terjebak rasa dalam kata

Terjebak aku dalam kata-kata
Terjebak kini pada realita
Tak bisa lagi ku lari
Terkunci sudah dalam hati
Beribu kata, tak sanggup bicara

Pernah suatu kali satu orang bertanya
Mengapa paksa cinta buka mata?
Mengapa tak biarkan ia buta saja?
Lalu apa kini gunanya cinta
Kalau pandang rupa, pandang segala
Seperti perusahaanku saja
Sibuk mencari pekerja harta

Tapi tahukah kalian,
Apa yang paling buatku luka?
Dikhianati.
Bukan oleh lain manusia
Tapi oleh cinta
Dipermainkannya aku
Katanya ia tak lagi suka
Tak lagi ingin bersama
Lalu selama ini apa?
Main-main sebelum lanjut usia?
Buta.

Sekarang di sinilah aku
Di penghujung rasa percaya
Tak lagi yakin akan cinta
Habis aku diperdaya
Awalnya tak percaya
Lalu dibuat percaya
Kini semua omong kosong belaka
Cinta.
Buta nyatanya.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Life to Travel

Inspiration.
Inspiration comes in a mysterious way. Sometimes it just pops up inside my head. Sometimes when a deadline comes, I have to think hardly for it. And sometimes it comes from traveling.

Traveling.
For me, traveling is the best way to grow up. It taught me many things people couldn't teach. It taught me to talk to people, to understand that nobody is the same and it's normal to adjust. But it also taught me to keep believing in what's right. That even though they're not the same, there's a basic rule of right and wrong.

Traveling gave me some times to think about myself and figure out who am I, what I want to be and what I want to be remembered. Traveling has helped me to be grown ups. And now, every time I travel, I become aware of any views which can inspire me. A long queue to amusement park, happy faces from another traveler, etc. Traveling has been a part of me. It taught me to make decisions, to lead myself and then let myself to lead others. To always be a better of me.

Traveling helped me to understand people, including myself. Go out and find yourself!

-July 19, 2013
Science Center, Singapore

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Life in Amusement Park

For me, life is a huge amusement park
It sells experience
You have to embrace it to get the value of it
And in order to understand and feel the fun of it,
You have to put some bravery and try all of the games
Unless, you feel enough of being your friend's bag keeper
Being an audience, a follower, being just a worker

I know the coaster seems scary
It's high and it got all the chance to bring us down
But we have to try it anyway
And not wasting our tickets, don't we?
In the end, what's so beautiful  of looking something from below?
That's why I always want to be a bird
Looking all the alleys and seas from above

So, pal, tighten your safety belt
And you're good to go!

Monday, May 6, 2013

Once when the world was just perfect

If i could turn back time and go straight to your arm. When we were laying on the beach and you kissed me on my lips. And then we went hit the water and you held me tight around the ocean. We were holding hands, seeing skies and heard romance. Oh i wish i could turn back time. Once when we were together and the world was just perfect.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Seandainya cinta..

Seandainya cinta itu air. Mudah menguap. Seandainya bisa ku berhentikan cinta. Berhenti mencinta, berhenti mengerti. Seandainya awan dan dunia mengerti, betapa semua hal mengingatkanku pada cinta dan hanya rasa cinta. Seandainya kalian semua mengerti, betapa ku menyesal, bertahun-tahun mempertanyakan cinta. Dan seandainya kau mengerti.. Sekali ini saja mengerti..

Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Moment When You Waking Up

The most important part of sleeping is actually the moment when you get up. At that time being, you have two options. Either being grateful that you got a real nice sleep or grumbling because reality strikes once again.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Monday, February 25, 2013

Biru..

Biru..
Hanyutkan aku dalam senandungmu
Lamunkanku dalam duniamu
Biar ku lupa sejenak segala
Ku ingin istirahat sebentar saja
Biru..
Perdengarkan aku nyanyianmu
Bawaku ke dalam imajinasimu
Biar ku bahagia
Hilang hati perih luka
Biru..
Perlihatkan ombakmu padaku
Biar mataku terhibur
Biar sedihku ku lupa
Dan cintaku menguap ke awan sana
…………………………………………
Biru, tenggelamkah aku?

Friday, February 8, 2013

Kisah Santai tentang Cinta

Cinta. Satu hal yang selalu jadi misteri buat gw. Dulu, gw punya banyak banget pertanyaan tentang cinta. Mulai dari apa cinta emang ada, apa bedanya cinta sama kebiasaan, di mana batesnya cinta dan kebiasaan, dan masih banyak lagi lainnya. Tapi sekarang gw tau, sebenernya itu semua ga masalah, ga harus dipertanyakan, dan ga harus mempengaruhi si cinta itu sendiri. Karena either way kalo kita bisa sampe terbiasa sama seseorang, ya less likely kita ga nyaman sama orang itu ga sih? Kalo seseorang bisa bertahan sekian lama sama pasangannya, kalo kita segitu nyamannya sama seseorang, masa iya itu bukan cinta? Dan kalo di hati lo ada rasa bahagia, isn’t that enough for life? Bukannya itu goal terakhirnya seseorang? To be happy in life, cause that's what matters eventually, right? Dan putus cinta itu ga enak, bro, doesn’t worth a minute! Tapi kalo emang lagi putus cinta, ya at some point you have to let go and just be happy again. The world still has love for you, you just need to go out and find it once again. And remember, be happy, cause that's what matters.

-Alice-

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Aku Kangen | WS Rendra

Lunglai – ganas karena bahagia dan sedih,…
indah dan gigih cinta kita di dunia yang fana.
Nyawamu dan nyawaku dijodohkan langit,
dan anak kita akan lahir di cakrawala.
Ada pun mata kita akan terus bertatapan hingga berabad-abad lamanya.

Juwitaku yang cakap meskipun tanpa dandanan
untukmu hidupku terbuka.
Warna-warna kehidupan berpendar-pendar menakjubkan
Isyarat-isyarat getaran ajaib menggerakkan penaku.
Tanpa sekejap pun luput dari kenangan padamu
aku bergerak menulis pamplet, mempertahankan kehidupan.

Jakarta, Kotabumi, 24 Maret 1978
-WS RENDRA

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Endings.

Nature, it gives us certainty. Nature gives us theory. Autumn comes and summer is gone. One of nature’s theories, that everything eventually ends. And as much as I’ve looked forward to every new beginning, I’ve always disliked endings. Last day of summer, the final album of a great band and final chapter of a great book. But nature teaches us that endings are inevitable. The leaves will fall. Summer ends. A goodbye will be spoken. A goodbye to everything that was familiar, everything that was comforting enough. But sometimes, although we keep moving on, there are some people who are so much a part of us they’ll be with us no matter what. They are our solid season, our leaves that never fall. And for those people we will give our love. For those people, we will fight and we will stay. Cause nature, it also teaches us to surrender. To stop looking, to believe in what we see, what we feel. To stop questioning everything. To surrender. And to love. For those people, we will wait and see what happens. Of those people, we finally understand the reason of why we live.

-Alice.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

POETRY OF LOVE

Should I spend more times to cry?
Or should I drown myself deeper in bed?
How to fix this?
How to get me better?
Oh, love, I wish I never understand you
I wish I shut myself over you
Oh, love, what did you do?
Now look at my heart
What did you do?

Monday, January 28, 2013

YOU NAMED IT

LIFE SUCKS AND GOOD AND SUCKS AGAIN AND THEN
MAYBE IT WILL BE GOOD AGAIN!

Aku.

Aku ini perempuan biru
Berdada batu, bermahkota pilu
Aku tak kenal yang tak ada
Tak percaya yang tak nyata
Aku ini putri hujan
Bermandi mendung, bertakhta awan
Dalam hujan ku tulis ceritaku
Pada hujan ku teriakkan isakku
Aku dan aku..

Lalu kau datang bawa ceritamu
Kau datang bawakan cintaku

Aku ini putri raja
Berlimpah cinta, berselimut indah realita
Ternyata cinta itu ada
Aku ini perempuan hatimu
Karna di sinilah kau kan berlabuh
Aku dan kamu..

Friday, January 25, 2013

Publish the Unpublished

2013.

Morning, guys. Today, I just want to bring up something light for your eyes. These days, like the other “these-days” I usually had in my life, I feel so blessed. Personally, I always believe that God, no matter what, no matter how, is good. As usual, you can replace the word God with maybe nature or anything you believe is existed and bigger than you, than any humans alive. Since probably the last year, my life has been a masterpiece of myself. It becomes easier I guess for more specific. When I looked back and ask “why?” and tried to figure it out by keeping my awareness in my day-to-day living, I found out why.

This year, somehow, I was able to see the big picture of everything happened to me. It was like I could see God’s plan in everything happened in my life. It was like finally I could see that God is always good, eventually. That there was always a reason. It makes everything easier. It makes me believe that no matter how screwed up I am now, I’ll end up good, eventually. Cause The Plan is always good. It makes me able to be grateful most of the time. And it really makes things easier.

Try to find God’s aim in bad things happened to you. I know, it sounds silly and everything. But it’s not a denial for me, it really is it is. Have a bigger heart is my 2013 resolution I guess. Not for the world, it’s too much, it’s for myself cause it makes me happier and by that I hope I could make happiness for others too. Some people said that if you spread your resolution, it won’t happen cause it’s like you jinxing it. But for me, I guess it gives me more spirit, because it will be more like “my-promise” to the world. It makes me more excited in achieving it. At last, resolution could be achieved if we working it out right? It’s not like a coincidence or something..

So, sorry to just say it now, but HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013, world! I have so many targets this year along with the fear and doubt whether I can achieve it or whether I cannot.. But for what it’s worth, I’ll try my best to achieve it. 2013 is gonna be mine (and yours!) :)

Wishing you all a prosperous year, monkeys!

Love,
Alice Ayu
______________________________________________________________
Moments update.

CHRISTMAS - We spent holiday at Salatiga, a good place to relax and do outbond!
 

































N.Y.E - with boyfriend and friends :)



















==fin==