Tuesday, August 5, 2014


Jodoh itu pilihan. Sesederhana analogi klasik memilih bunga di taman tanpa boleh kembali ke belakang. Diam di tempat takut menyesal melewatkan pemandangan di depan; melanjutkan perjalanan takut salah menyia-nyiakan yang sudah di tangan, apalagi kalau sudah terlanjur bikin taman yang kecil dengan isi bunga yang terbatas.

Mau takut yang mana pun juga adalah sebuah pilihan. Diam di tempat membunuh rasa penasaran dan strangely merelakan diri to fit in dengan ketidak-pas-an itu sendiri. Lanjut berjalan bertaruh dengan ketidakpastian dan mengambil resiko kesepian. Pilihan.

Tapi ada yang bukan pilihan. Keraguan. Dan semua pemikiran tentang ketakutan akan pilihan-pilihan yang ada. Kalau sudah begini tinggal keberanian yang berperan. Mau bertahan dalam keraguan atau berpetualang mencari jawaban.

Aug 4, 12:50 AM.

Saturday, May 31, 2014


Her face is doomed
His mouth mumbling
Like a handsome idiot
Both are politician
Both pretty
They talk like the smartest
And secretly thinking about sex
Most of their kind is just like them
They talk talk talk
Then sex sex sex
And then comes one hero
Who sincerely cares
And everybody keeps telling
That it’s just for his image
Maybe nobody knows anymore
The slight difference
Between cares and tales

Old Memorial Park

That place was full with darkness
I could see nothing but white smelly smolder
I went there to pick up someone
Someone from my past
She’s pretty but fake
Like a mannequin
Her nose is perfect
And her hair is all black
Back then she was a waitress
In a restaurant right down the Sunset Street
Near my apartment, a place where I barely live
We’re not a lover
Nor a best friend
I just knew her from where I got my coffee
And she just knew me as one lousy customer
Not long from now she just got hit by a car
I saw her from across the street
And dropped my cup of coffee
I stood there for three hours
And she was brought to faraway
Far from Sunset Street
So I don’t drink coffee anymore
Instead, I went to that Memorial Park
To pick her up and trying to be a lover
One night I dream
I drink coffee and she walks next to me
Hand on hand, still on the Sunset Street

Thursday, May 22, 2014

I want to be that silly woman who doesn't care much about everything. I want to be irresponsible and do what I like. I want to be sarcastic and not afraid of anything. I want to be free.

What if..

Hi, world. It's been a long time.. I don't feel really well today. I miss my friends a lott.. I feel lonely here.. I wish, and I really wish, I could turn back time and go to my very happy moments. I want to sing, I want to play.. Just this second, I want to close my eyes and fly. Fly to my long long happiness. I want a longgg deep hug. I'm too scared of everything. Gimana kalo semua mimpi-mimpi gw cuma semu. Gimana kalo gw bakal end up being nobody.. Gimana kalo I'm not that good or I'm not trying hard enough.. Gimana kalo gw kehilangan cinta dalam hidup gw.. Gimana kalo gw sendirian.. I'm scared and I just need a longg deep hugg.. Just this time.. Gimana kalo semua tulisan gw tentang mimpi memang cuma mimpi.. Gimana kalo semua perasaan excited gw tentang mimpi cuma berenti di situ aja.. Gimana? Ah, I feel sick..

Monday, February 24, 2014

The Ocean

I want to go see the ocean
And tell him how much I miss him

Not so long time ago we were sitting there side by side,
and all things about love has been figured out

Now the heart is empty again

But the ocean is still there
Sings to me from faraway, about love that never finds a way

So I wanna tell him that love is never be the same
I might find another love, some other times
But it'll never be the same

So I pack my bag
With plan to come back
Bring my copy of love
And show it to the rest of the world

A month.. A year..
And now I'm here
But the ocean is still there

So I pack again
With no plan to come back
Two years.. Three years..
And the ocean is still there..

Wednesday, February 19, 2014


Today, a year ago
If only I knew that I was gonna lost you
I will hug you tight and not letting you go
Come here and kiss me once again
And you'll see that you love me so
I know that you love me so

Tomorrow, I don't know if I will regret what I've said
But tonight, I'm letting you know how I love you so
Kiss me
And just love me once again
Love me a year or so
And you'll see that you love me so
That you love me so

-a lyric-
People are not afraid to try. People afraid to loose then they gave up trying.

The city where everything walks slower.

Bandung is not just a city. But I know some of you won’t understand, cause you don’t live there for 10 years or so. Bandung is a history, it’s a memory and it’s magic. When you open your window and all you get are wind blows and all your eyes see are trees. That is my view for over last four years of my life there. When you go all the way down Ciumbuleuit Street and spent tons of laughs with your best friends. The best part is when the nights comes, I could just go across the street cause right in front of my boarding house there is this mini bar where my friends and I could talk about everything like we know everything and we are the smartest groups on earth and have the brightest future ahead. You have no idea how many problems have been solved by the beers that bar sold.

Morning in Bandung is also the best part. To be very honest I didn’t take any shower for some of my morning classes cause it was too freezy breezy. I just grabbed my books and ran a little. Outside, all the trees and winds were waiting. It’s like going to college in Norwegia or somewhere in Scandinavia land, although I’ve never been to any of it, but it is something like that, I promise you. And at certain times, all flowers of trees at the left and right side of Cipaganti Street are fallen off. It’s like fall along the road. If you never sit at the back of a motorcycle, stretch your arms as wide open as you can and take as many winds as your lungs able to gather, then you never know what happiness for me is.

The fact is I never miss a city like I always miss this one. And I think, if you never hold someone’s hand in this city just to fooling around, you’re never be in love..