love as is what?

Do you ever fall in love? I bet you do. Now, do you believe in love? I bet some of you dont know still yet. Sigh, me too here. For so many times i questioned love and then there was the time when i thought love does exist, but now i still dont know to be honest. At the very first beginning, i thought love is a fairytale, because i could see it on barbie and ken's eyes but not on my parents'. And then when i grew up a little bigger, i thought love exists, because my friends got it and i was wishing to get mine too. Until i met the very first boyfriend of mine which made me thought that love is a lie, just like Santa Clause. They're made only to bring us hopes, sometimes it's good, sometimes it leads us nowhere. Years went by with me believing no love. I thought we only could find the person closest to our love not our love himself, because well he doesnt exist. Up until i believe in love again, when i met kikin, because i learn that love is nothing about compromising, instead it's really about meeting the right person. But then he said -and it made me thought, if love does exist, world would be so unfair, because love is the source of our happiness (yes because in a normal condition we'll get married in age between 28 - 35, so for the next maybe 50 years, we'll spending it with our love and it will sort of becoming our source of happiness, it should be right? because if it is not i'd rather be not getting married) and we could have chance to miss it. And since love is the source of our happiness, can you imagine how sad people-who-miss-their-love's life? And now, several years after the conversation, i thought love as is soulmate is never really been there, because if it exists we couldnt continue our life without considering other aspects than the love itself anyway. You met your love and bam shit still happens, the easiest example, your family could not accept him or the other way around.

So, after notbelieving-believing-notbelieving-andbelieving in love, now i still havent found my truely side. What matter for me now is shit happens, how to improvise in life? So, till we meet again, love.

Ciao!