To Dear Mom

Mam, I know life is never easy for you. And I know that I really don't help you much on life. I know for sure that my love for you is not half way much as your love for me. I know that papa loves me, but you're the one who will always do anything for me. I'm sorry to make your life became harder by arguing your advices also your wants. I'm sorry for all of my impatience that made you sad. Thank you so much for being such an angel in this family. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for your cook, your knitting, for your time, and for your passionate as a mother. Thank you.

Happy birthday, mam. I love you *cups

Mice Trap

Guys, you have to know something! Yesterday was the scariest moment that I've ever had in my life! I SLEPT WITH A MICE!

I arrived at home after work, I opened my room door, and I saw that black mice climbing my blue curtain. Ohhhhh, how nasty nasty super nasty! I don't have any ideas where the mice came from. The thought that maybe the mice has been in my room not only yesterday was made me sick! Can you imagine that? It maybe has touched my things, maybe my clothes that hanging on the outside of my wardrobe, maybe my bed, ohh noooo :(

So, I asked my boarding house's security guard to help me repel the mice. But at the time I came back to my room with the security guard, the mice has gone from my sight. We were looking for it for a while, then we gave up. And, guess what, there was nothing I can do but slept with it because it was really late at night. Thing wasn't going better at all, the mice was really there, it made a noise every hour and woke me up. But the good thing about it was finally I knew where specifically the mice was. Ohh, I had to sleep with the light turning on :(

Finally the sun rises. Kikin came to my room, helped me knocked off this trouble. He asked me to go get some breakfast while he tried to find the mice. When I came back, he still on the fight with the mice. He said he has looked at it and it wasn't too big but its color was nothing but black, yuck! So, I went to my mate's room. I just sat on the chair, chat with may friend when I heard kikin said "done, the mice has run out of the room!". Suddenly I saw that black disgusting runner and with my friend we closed my friend's room door as fast as we can. Aaaaa, I hug him and said thank you. It was relieved. Thanks again, boyfriend!

Well, I saw that this is actually what every girl needs from a man -his bravery and physical power. Women are strong, I believe that somehow women are stronger than men. We used to deal with pressure. See how women deal with their friendship, how women do gossip and how as a woman we should be ready to be gossiped of behind our back. It builds woman's toughness. And everytime I saw a movie which the story contained a death of a child from the family, the only person who collapsed was the father -the man. It doesn't matter if as a woman I have to be stronger for that kind of thing, but I do need a man who is braver than me while the lights down, when a thunder claps, when the roof leaks, when the television is broken, and when a mouse entered my boarding room!

For every single man out there: Be brave!

Brown Book

I have to admit that in my relationship with kikin, we do many things that sound (well this term of word maybe can represent what I mean) "unyuuuu". We are both spoiled. We named after many things kikin bought for me and vice versa. We have Nucka -the uglydoll, then there is Elmo -the elmo from sesame street doll, we have Grow -Nucka's friend cause they both colored brown, and then Bagus -the first thing that we named which is kikin's motorcycle, and so forth. Actually kikin and I can make a football team from those imaginary friends. And the latest thing we had was this brown book which I bought at Muji. We wrote this book with anything we like to write. One night it will stay at my place then I'll give it to kikin the day after; kikin will return it to me after that and so on and so on and so on. Honestly, I do feel like a teenager and sometimes I just don't wanna let everybody knows it because you know I'm almost 21 and only by saying unyuuu in the middle of the crowd suddenly I can feel embrace. But kikin's write on that book was actually really good, it can make me smile even for the 2nd time I read. And I've just realized that this is the way of us to share our day to day dreams, our hopes, our biggest fear, our smile, and our love for everybody; it is just our story, wherever it will be ended at.

And thanks to you for sharing those dreams with me. I am really happy that I have you in my life -and Nucka and Elmo and Grow and Bagus (hahahahaha).

Build the Dream

This June I'll be 21, I can't read Go Girl anymore, maybe Elle will cover my needs. It's funny, isn't it, thinking about how we all are growing up. I remember I was just a little girl, lying on my pap's neck. Drinking milk, licking lollipop. Everything seemed so bright that day. Then suddenly I'm here, falling in love, having trouble, doing my own clothes-mix-n-match, having fun, having life, step-by-step being mature, being realistic, changing the plan for a young married, and bigger-ing the dreams. Isn't that so great? All the journey is just feel right. Thanks, God, for the perfect weather this morning, it again reminds me how to thankful.

Unacceptable

Let me share a thought with you. Since I grown up, I met such an uncomfortable condition, but that was not as terrible as an annoying condition. What is this an annoying condition?

Okay, here's the thing. I begin to understand that in life there is a condition where the win-win term can't be realized. Ahhh, I hate how I grow up and finally meet this term of condition. My childhood's fantasy about world was not as realistic as the real one actually. Imagine two persons, in love, lets say four years being in a good relationship, and the male decides to make a proposal, but unfortunately the female rejects.

Well, lets make a simple analogy about that condition. Since what the male asked from the proposal is intangible, it will be hard for me to explain what's inside my head, so I choose an apple to replace it. The male must be hoped for a "yes" when he asked an apple from the girl, but the answer is purely become the girl's right whether she will nod her head or shook it. Because this apple is belong to the girl, none of other people can force her to give it to someone or judging her because she decides not to give it to anybody. Fair enough. But can you say "it's okay, it's fair enough" when you're in the male's position? You'll feel betrayed cause you will start to think that you've invested a lot of things on that apple. You spent time to take care of it, you spent energy, you spent money, and not in the small proportion, but big big big one investment. But, I also cannot blame on the girl, because marriage is such a huge thing and usually it was been dreamed of by women since we were just a little silly girl. And it will always be a NO when we're not so sure. So, just blame the air then. But -another but, since we can't see the air, the girl would be the last person to blame. That's why it is so annoying. Get it?

Catch up with you later but soon.