To Dear Mom

Mam, I know life is never easy for you. And I know that I really don't help you much on life. I know for sure that my love for you is not half way much as your love for me. I know that papa loves me, but you're the one who will always do anything for me. I'm sorry to make your life became harder by arguing your advices also your wants. I'm sorry for all of my impatience that made you sad. Thank you so much for being such an angel in this family. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for your cook, your knitting, for your time, and for your passionate as a mother. Thank you.

Happy birthday, mam. I love you *cups

Mice Trap

Guys, you have to know something! Yesterday was the scariest moment that I've ever had in my life! I SLEPT WITH A MICE!

I arrived at home after work, I opened my room door, and I saw that black mice climbing my blue curtain. Ohhhhh, how nasty nasty super nasty! I don't have any ideas where the mice came from. The thought that maybe the mice has been in my room not only yesterday was made me sick! Can you imagine that? It maybe has touched my things, maybe my clothes that hanging on the outside of my wardrobe, maybe my bed, ohh noooo :(

So, I asked my boarding house's security guard to help me repel the mice. But at the time I came back to my room with the security guard, the mice has gone from my sight. We were looking for it for a while, then we gave up. And, guess what, there was nothing I can do but slept with it because it was really late at night. Thing wasn't going better at all, the mice was really there, it made a noise every hour and woke me up. But the good thing about it was finally I knew where specifically the mice was. Ohh, I had to sleep with the light turning on :(

Finally the sun rises. Kikin came to my room, helped me knocked off this trouble. He asked me to go get some breakfast while he tried to find the mice. When I came back, he still on the fight with the mice. He said he has looked at it and it wasn't too big but its color was nothing but black, yuck! So, I went to my mate's room. I just sat on the chair, chat with may friend when I heard kikin said "done, the mice has run out of the room!". Suddenly I saw that black disgusting runner and with my friend we closed my friend's room door as fast as we can. Aaaaa, I hug him and said thank you. It was relieved. Thanks again, boyfriend!

Well, I saw that this is actually what every girl needs from a man -his bravery and physical power. Women are strong, I believe that somehow women are stronger than men. We used to deal with pressure. See how women deal with their friendship, how women do gossip and how as a woman we should be ready to be gossiped of behind our back. It builds woman's toughness. And everytime I saw a movie which the story contained a death of a child from the family, the only person who collapsed was the father -the man. It doesn't matter if as a woman I have to be stronger for that kind of thing, but I do need a man who is braver than me while the lights down, when a thunder claps, when the roof leaks, when the television is broken, and when a mouse entered my boarding room!

For every single man out there: Be brave!

Brown Book

I have to admit that in my relationship with kikin, we do many things that sound (well this term of word maybe can represent what I mean) "unyuuuu". We are both spoiled. We named after many things kikin bought for me and vice versa. We have Nucka -the uglydoll, then there is Elmo -the elmo from sesame street doll, we have Grow -Nucka's friend cause they both colored brown, and then Bagus -the first thing that we named which is kikin's motorcycle, and so forth. Actually kikin and I can make a football team from those imaginary friends. And the latest thing we had was this brown book which I bought at Muji. We wrote this book with anything we like to write. One night it will stay at my place then I'll give it to kikin the day after; kikin will return it to me after that and so on and so on and so on. Honestly, I do feel like a teenager and sometimes I just don't wanna let everybody knows it because you know I'm almost 21 and only by saying unyuuu in the middle of the crowd suddenly I can feel embrace. But kikin's write on that book was actually really good, it can make me smile even for the 2nd time I read. And I've just realized that this is the way of us to share our day to day dreams, our hopes, our biggest fear, our smile, and our love for everybody; it is just our story, wherever it will be ended at.

And thanks to you for sharing those dreams with me. I am really happy that I have you in my life -and Nucka and Elmo and Grow and Bagus (hahahahaha).

Build the Dream

This June I'll be 21, I can't read Go Girl anymore, maybe Elle will cover my needs. It's funny, isn't it, thinking about how we all are growing up. I remember I was just a little girl, lying on my pap's neck. Drinking milk, licking lollipop. Everything seemed so bright that day. Then suddenly I'm here, falling in love, having trouble, doing my own clothes-mix-n-match, having fun, having life, step-by-step being mature, being realistic, changing the plan for a young married, and bigger-ing the dreams. Isn't that so great? All the journey is just feel right. Thanks, God, for the perfect weather this morning, it again reminds me how to thankful.

Unacceptable

Let me share a thought with you. Since I grown up, I met such an uncomfortable condition, but that was not as terrible as an annoying condition. What is this an annoying condition?

Okay, here's the thing. I begin to understand that in life there is a condition where the win-win term can't be realized. Ahhh, I hate how I grow up and finally meet this term of condition. My childhood's fantasy about world was not as realistic as the real one actually. Imagine two persons, in love, lets say four years being in a good relationship, and the male decides to make a proposal, but unfortunately the female rejects.

Well, lets make a simple analogy about that condition. Since what the male asked from the proposal is intangible, it will be hard for me to explain what's inside my head, so I choose an apple to replace it. The male must be hoped for a "yes" when he asked an apple from the girl, but the answer is purely become the girl's right whether she will nod her head or shook it. Because this apple is belong to the girl, none of other people can force her to give it to someone or judging her because she decides not to give it to anybody. Fair enough. But can you say "it's okay, it's fair enough" when you're in the male's position? You'll feel betrayed cause you will start to think that you've invested a lot of things on that apple. You spent time to take care of it, you spent energy, you spent money, and not in the small proportion, but big big big one investment. But, I also cannot blame on the girl, because marriage is such a huge thing and usually it was been dreamed of by women since we were just a little silly girl. And it will always be a NO when we're not so sure. So, just blame the air then. But -another but, since we can't see the air, the girl would be the last person to blame. That's why it is so annoying. Get it?

Catch up with you later but soon.

Award

Thank you, Indi, for this :)
http://duniakecilindi.blogspot.com/2011/03/sweet-award-untuk-teman-teman-baru-yang.html

Candies

Many people still celebrating White Day.
This is from them. Thanks, folks!

Differences

"Friendship is always uneasy, because we have differences. But it's always worthy to fight for."

A French Love Song

LA VIE EN ROSE - Edith Piaf
Des yeux qui font baisser les miens,
Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche—
Voilà le portrait sans retouche
De l’homme auquel j’appartiens.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras,
Il me parle tout bas,
Je vois la vie en rose.
Il me dit des mots d’amour,
Des mots de tous les jours,
Et ça me fait quelque chose.
Il est entré dans mon cœur,
Une part de bonheur
Dont je connais la cause.
C’est lui pour moi,
Moi pour lui dans la vie,
Il me l’a dit, l’a juré pour la vie.
Et dès que je l’aperçois,
Alors je sens en moi
Mon cœur qui bat.

Des nuits d’amour à plus finir,
Un grand bonheur qui prend sa place,
Les ennuis, les chagrins s’effacent,
Heureux, heureux à en mourir.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras,
Il me parle tout bas,
Je vois la vie en rose.
Il me dit des mots d’amour,
Des mots de tous les jours,
Et ça me fait quelque chose.
Il est entré dans mon cœur,
Une part de bonheur
Dont je connais la cause.
C’est lui pour moi,
Moi pour lui dans la vie,
Il me l’a dit, l’a juré pour la vie.
Et dès que je l’aperçois,
Alors je sens en moi
Mon cœur qui bat.

(English version by Louis Armstrong)
Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me heaven sighs
And tho I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose

When you press me to your heart
I’m in a world apart
A world where roses bloom

And when you speak...angels sing from above
Everyday words seem...to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose

What I heart and what I don't

What I heart:
1. Chocolate (both the taste or the color)
2. Clouds (maybe I won't like it, if it's only one)
3. Flowers (I'm classic)
4. Head and shoulder massage
5. Highways
6. Sweet ice tea (Thai ice tea even more)
7. Laptop + i-pod
8. MUSIC BOX
9. The ugly doll
10. Hand-sanitizer
11. Rain
12. Any steaks with spinach sauce
13. Flat shoes and tights with blazer
14. Butterflies
15. Pajama behind the bedcover

What I don't:
1. Durian
2. PET and CAT
3. You can see shirt
4. Harry Potter
5. Being fat
6. A goodbye
7. Library (only in my college)
8. Foursquare
9. Calculator
10. Missing kikin

LA VIE EN ROSE

It was Tuesday and I was lying on the bed,
watching Glee

Actually another movie after the Glee,
I don't remember it well
And you came home with sweat, after playing football
I remember I felt happy, seeing you entered the door
We took a little chat, then you went on bath
I also remember I felt happy, smelling your soap
But usually not when I should finally go home
But not yesterday
Yesterday, I can't wait you to drive me home
Cause you give me this as a present
I don't know why I should get a present
Am I being a very good girlfriend?
But you said no, you said cause it's Tuesday

Thank you for making everyday feels special
Now, I just can't stop playing the music box
Maybe you were right, it's just so me
I love you even more

Daily Day

This is another story for me, fellas, about my daily life. It's quite routine actually, except for the weekend, but since I've been pretty much busy lately because of the thesis and the internship, I don't have any going-boom-boom-weekend anymore.

I've fixed my sleep time problem. Now I sleep at maximum 1.00 a.m, and wake up soon at 8, and I feel healthier by then. My life begins with bathroom and hairdryer, then sometimes a library and sometimes a place where I study Chinese language. But what I always get is an hour run into my office, of course I didn't use my legs. To be honest, I didn't really like my time that I spent on public transportation, it's just how can I call it, just uncomfortable someway you know (really I'm not being cocky here, but that's just what I feel). I owe my goldy i-pod so much for help me on that.

My boyfriend will pick me up from work at 5 p.m, and get me an early dinner. That is heaven for me. And since I've mentioned boyfriend, let me seasoning it with love a little bit. Just like a routine life which can make anybody feel bored, a routine boyfriend also can, but who wants to have an unroutine boyfriend? I don't think I can handle Roy on Monday, then on the next day I'll have Sam, and Boby at Wednesday, or something. So, I think instead of keep looking and looking for someone who can't make you feel bored, I better looking for someone who can help me out of the bored. And I'm glad and proud of my present boyfriend on this.

Back to my daily. After three months having this home-office-home routine, I start to get use to it. An hour doesn't feel like a whole day anymore, and actually I really enjoy the public transportation. Indeed sometimes I even miss the time where I can hear music from my i-pod while my eyes keep looking around the street. It's pretty nice, watching people do their things on the street also on the public car. Well, then maybe if we choose to just stay enjoy and have fun, nature will help us..

Hope you all healthy and happy! Ciao, xoxo..

Why I Write

For now, I will tell you all why I started writing on blog. For so many times, I was dreaming about becoming a writer. But like a coward usually did, what following my dream is the fear, even when actually I wasn't doing anything yet to be feared of. And then, one day, when I was at the book store with my ex, I found one catchy novel cover and started to read the synopsis behind it. I know exactly that I will buy it, and I did. That novel was been entitled Waktu Aku Sama Mika (When I Was With Mika -red), written by Indi. The novel was made like it was the diary of the writer, that was the concept. And, I can't explain it clearly, but Waktu Aku Sama Mika was really touched me. The most awesome from the awesomeness. It's not because of the story was extraordinary, or because of the writer has a scoliosis, or her ex was a person with Aids; it's only because the words. Indi has such a very beautiful words, she brought me deeply into her writing. I cried when I should cry, I laugh when I've supposed to laugh, I was happy when I read it, no matter for how many times I've read. And yeah, Indi has a blog; that was the time I decided to have this blog. And actually I'm so happy I'm having it, it's just like having a pet, kinda. I feel like I have a friend that I have to update with my story or thoughts, friend that I should taking care of. Well, thank you so much, Indi, for sharing me the courage.

Anyway, Indi has published her second novel, titled Karena Cinta Itu Sempurna (Because Love is Perfect -red), and I've bought it last Friday :)



Visit Indi's blog: http://duniakecilindi.blogspot.com/

Hugging you tight, honey..

Today I learn about being grateful for everything. Just an unimportant information, this will be my 100th post, and I dedicate it for one of my friend. She is a girl, I never mention her before on my blog, but maybe there's a photo of her.

This morning she contacted me and asked me to come to her, to listen to her concern and her fear. Actually I was contacted her three days before, for the same reason -I asked her to listen to my concern and my fear, but we haven't decided the meeting day yet at that time. So, I came and finding her was crying. Well, actually the problem is the same, between both of us. But hers is much more complicated, because of some reasons, compare to mine. Yeah, that was the time where I remember the way to be grateful. Ahh, there's nothing I can do to make her feel better I guess. I'm so sorry for you, dear.. Be strong, as you always are.

I know that someday will come my day, my turn. Well, it's only your turn coming too soon, too fast to be faced. If you need me, anytime yaa..., just dial my number :)

Times really heal, honey, don't be afraid, besides you're stronger than what you think you are (I know it)..

Cheers, *kecuppppp

Doubling Me Date

Now I know why couples need other couples.

Damn, I need it!

Poetry is somehow hypnotized me..

1
Kamu itu pasir
Pasir putih berkilat di tepian pantai
Kamu menari
Menari mengayun ombak
Kamu berdansa
Berdansa bertautan cahaya
Kamu itu angin
Angin Surga pembawa dahaga
Andai saja kamu tetap ada
Setia menyapa lara
Mengapa kumbang hinggapi tanaman
Mengapa lalu terbang tinggalkan halaman
Andai saja ia ada
Setia dalam duka
Mengapa tak tinggal
Malah lari kalang kabut mengejar berandal
Padahal aku ada
Padahal aku tinggal
Lalu aku jadi sendiri
Sendiri menyapa lara
Sendiri dalam duka

2
Bicara saja
Padahal tak tahu suatu apa
Jadi biarkan saja
Biarkan kata-katanya menguap
Diserap lalat, lintah, dan polusi udara
Memang siapa ia?
Ia tak punya kuasa untuk buatku merana
Deburnya itu semu
Datang menahun
Tiada menggoyang bebatuan laut
Maunya apa kalau cuma menakuti
Maka tumbuhkan dulu rahangnya
Karna menggertak pun ia perlu gigi
Dan getirnya juga bohong
Hanya meratap tuk sebentar melenyap
Buat apa?
Di sini kita tetap berdansa
Berdua hanya kita yang tahu

3

Berpuisi indah-indah
Tapi seolah tak menahu apa-apa
Badannya capai, letih dan lelah
Apalagi hati, sakit sampai berdarah
Pun tetap berdiri ia
Berpijak kuat, tegar dan mengalah
Maka itu ia disebut perempuan
Dan kan terus berpuisilah ia
Meski kan tetap tak tahu satu jua di depan laki-lakinya
Ada perempuan menyulam luka dengan senyuman
Mungkin ia malaikat perempuan
Tapi baru kali ini aku lihat seorang malaikat penuh luka dan sayatan
Maka itu perempuan disebut-sebut indah

Dear God,

God, today I don't feel okay, it seems like everything doesn't seem so right. But I'm still happy because You heard my prayer and You answer me. Sometimes I know that I should take a responsibility for my own happiness, but it's kinda hard, God. I usually depend it on many things, on my parents, friends, boyfriend, and things like clothes-money-trousers-shoes-purse-bracelets-earrings-and other shiny things. And now when I realize that comes the time where they, one-by-one, all will be gone, I feel terribly sad. Because honestly, I love the people so much. It frighten me out..

Ahh, this afternoon, I met a few people. Many different of them. I met person with a smile; with a laugh, but mostly I met people in a hurry faces. I don't want to be like them, God, so please guide me with my thesis. I'm working on it, You see it Yourself. And I swear I'll give my best shot for this.

I love You, God. Contact You soon.

Your daughter,