love as is what?

Do you ever fall in love? I bet you do. Now, do you believe in love? I bet some of you dont know still yet. Sigh, me too here. For so many times i questioned love and then there was the time when i thought love does exist, but now i still dont know to be honest. At the very first beginning, i thought love is a fairytale, because i could see it on barbie and ken's eyes but not on my parents'. And then when i grew up a little bigger, i thought love exists, because my friends got it and i was wishing to get mine too. Until i met the very first boyfriend of mine which made me thought that love is a lie, just like Santa Clause. They're made only to bring us hopes, sometimes it's good, sometimes it leads us nowhere. Years went by with me believing no love. I thought we only could find the person closest to our love not our love himself, because well he doesnt exist. Up until i believe in love again, when i met kikin, because i learn that love is nothing about compromising, instead it's really about meeting the right person. But then he said -and it made me thought, if love does exist, world would be so unfair, because love is the source of our happiness (yes because in a normal condition we'll get married in age between 28 - 35, so for the next maybe 50 years, we'll spending it with our love and it will sort of becoming our source of happiness, it should be right? because if it is not i'd rather be not getting married) and we could have chance to miss it. And since love is the source of our happiness, can you imagine how sad people-who-miss-their-love's life? And now, several years after the conversation, i thought love as is soulmate is never really been there, because if it exists we couldnt continue our life without considering other aspects than the love itself anyway. You met your love and bam shit still happens, the easiest example, your family could not accept him or the other way around.

So, after notbelieving-believing-notbelieving-andbelieving in love, now i still havent found my truely side. What matter for me now is shit happens, how to improvise in life? So, till we meet again, love.

Ciao!

HAPPINESS IS NEVER EASY

Happiness. I finally jumped into a conclusion that happiness is never been easy. That happiness needs effort, just like any other things in life. Let's say we think that by going to Europe we'll be happy, but we are too lazy to looking for the flight tickets so we're never been into Europe and the happiness we may get from the trip is never been ours too.

Same analogy for love. I dont understand why people change. When we were just a kid, we did not afraid of anything. We fell but we ride the bike again and again. Why afraid now? Why so afraid to be in love again? Oh come on, everybody gets hurt. It's like saying you're busy. Well, everybody is busy but we make time, although some of us get controlled by it instead of control it. Quoted from someone older, he said, you can miss the bus. Love is not something you can ask to wait for an indefinite time. And i think love is one of the main elements of happiness. So, just be in love again because happiness is never easy.

You pursue your own happiness.

Good luck, people. I am managing mine too!

Cheers!
Alice Ayu

wonder if..

sometimes i wonder if we never found this love, what would we become? if we never took the way we were taking now, would i still believe in love? if we never met, how not-special myself would be by now? if we're never been together, would we understand the feeling of every lyric in every love song? if we never tried, will we understand love? if we never let each other in, then will we understand happiness? if our path were never crossed to each other, could i breathe exactly the same like i breathe now? if we never fell into love, what smile could i have now? if we never kissed, if we never hugged, would i understand the feeling of being loved, the sense of security? if we never existed, will there still be a happy ending? and if you were never been you, would i be me?

this road without you

Pagi terasa seperti pelangi
Ketika hujan rintik-rintik membasahi
Sudut-sudut hati
Yang tak kunjung sembuh dari sepi
Kalau saja jarak ini tak ada
Menghilang menyesap
Mampukah kau katakan sayang
Sanggupkah kau sampaikan cinta
Kalau saja jarak ini tak ada
Mengabur melenyap
Mampukah kau peluk asa
Tuk puaskan sukma
Lalu kita kan terbang bersama
Mengitari tepi-tepi hari
Berdansa, berbahagia
Berlari, berlari menembus pelangi
Menyambut pagi, melewati malam
Berdua, sambungkan kata cinta
Berdua memandang bintang
Hingga pagi tak lagi datang

p.s: dedicated for every long-distance-relationship-couples. and especially for you, my world.

Give thanks as love is free

Last week I was taking a walk in the aisle of the Indonesian Stock Exchange, when I looked at two beautiful kids sat on the aisle’s floor and were hugging each other. They were dirty but still beautiful. One's a girl, the other is a boy. I thought they were brother and sister. Maybe they were waiting for their parent who might be a beggar.

They were just smiling and laughing. They were also kissing each other’s chick. So cute weren’t they? :D

And then I told this story to kikin and spontaneously he said, “luckily, love is free”.

Yeah, I thought, no matter how hard life is and how harder life is for several people, we are supposed to be able to go through it because there is love. There is love here and there.. It’s like the air, it’s everywhere and free. And we need it aint we? Becos it makes us happy, there's no doubt about that.

Moreover, it is Christmas coming to town. Spread more love! SMILE and take a break from sadness.

So, will you give love?

wandering l o v e

Its been a long time since i write about love, aint i? So, now lets talk about love.

If you remember, i dont believe in whatsoever called love. What i do believe is continuity. Sometimes, somewhere in my heart is always wandering that maybe love exists. Because if it is not, how come this serious relationship can be so much fun with my boyfriend..

To be honest, this is the best relationship i can imagine between man and woman. We grow together into something better of ourselves. I dont remember whether we ever have a big fight or not, i dont think so.. We argue about something we did should, not about something silly. He understands me so good. He always try to make me happy and for this i cant thank God more for sending me him. He is one of very smart, open minded, creative and visioner type of person. Yet, he is caring. Yeah and so, he can be my most challenging brainstorming opponent but also my sweet lover.

Hey you, thank you you found me..

I still dont know if love exists, but lets just see :D

p.s: i found it so sweet >>

If you ever think of to see different side of the world, we think you should think of Indonesia!The most beautiful place on earth, with unlimited sunshine, tropical forest and everything beyond your imagination!It's not just about the beach, the river, the mountains, but it's all about the culture, people, history and beyond all of it.. the grandeur of the nature...

From http://indonesiaindah.tumblr.com/. Go there visit.

Love, XOXO.

Brown Book

I have to admit that in my relationship with kikin, we do many things that sound (well this term of word maybe can represent what I mean) "unyuuuu". We are both spoiled. We named after many things kikin bought for me and vice versa. We have Nucka -the uglydoll, then there is Elmo -the elmo from sesame street doll, we have Grow -Nucka's friend cause they both colored brown, and then Bagus -the first thing that we named which is kikin's motorcycle, and so forth. Actually kikin and I can make a football team from those imaginary friends. And the latest thing we had was this brown book which I bought at Muji. We wrote this book with anything we like to write. One night it will stay at my place then I'll give it to kikin the day after; kikin will return it to me after that and so on and so on and so on. Honestly, I do feel like a teenager and sometimes I just don't wanna let everybody knows it because you know I'm almost 21 and only by saying unyuuu in the middle of the crowd suddenly I can feel embrace. But kikin's write on that book was actually really good, it can make me smile even for the 2nd time I read. And I've just realized that this is the way of us to share our day to day dreams, our hopes, our biggest fear, our smile, and our love for everybody; it is just our story, wherever it will be ended at.

And thanks to you for sharing those dreams with me. I am really happy that I have you in my life -and Nucka and Elmo and Grow and Bagus (hahahahaha).

Learning Love

Damn, you're married !

Here we go, another love theme for my writing. You must ever watch a movie or read a novel which the story belongs to two persons who crazily in love, and like they were made for each other. The problem is I think you all know that the number of woman population is bigger than man's number, so how it could possibly happen where there is one right man for a woman, and vice-versa.

The condition is maybe not like in the movie or the novel or also the novel which then been filmed, what actually happen is maybe only a man who feels okay with his fiancee and suddenly he turns twenty-something and his parents often ask him "when you will give us a super cute grandchildren, son?" and he already has the job and everything and the moment is right and comes the night where he downs on his knee saying what every woman deserves "would you marry me" or "would you be my wife" or "would you be the person whom I see the first in the morning, and the last person I see at night?" and so on and......whatsoever.

When the relationship you have is okay -or let's say a few higher than okay, it will be easy for you to think about further relationship which actually maybe is not for you. It's like you have a normal blood pressure, but actually you are at the end of the boundary of that normal blood pressure. Do you follow me? I hope you do. So you don't have the signal to feel that something is wrong here -something is in its way to become wrong soon. And when someday, at the cafe or hospital or at the street, you meet your soulmate, damn you're married.

Love is Actually All Around

Okay, on this special day which Mr. Valentine brought into world, I finally realize that loving someone ain't that easy. It needs a lot of time, don't mention sacrifice in your heart (cause it's a must!), it also needs a patience -a lot of it, sometimes it takes your money to buy people we love something cute and nice. Loving someone requires you to give an understanding and awareness at the same time, kinda hard isn't it?

When it is related to parent and kid relationship, it really doesn't easy, right? I mean, who's the name of the girl who doesn't get into a fight with his old mom?

And when it is connected to boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, it's never easy, man.. It's always like choosing a shoes that fit your feet right. Sometimes you get a bigger size, sometimes you get the opposite one, but someday we'll get our precise number, eventually (I hope!).
But, what I'm trying to say here, is that although it's only an inch different size number that we got, it still won't treat our feet right, it will hurt you so bad when you got your 5000 miles of walk, and the love will fade away, gone into the fights and tears and regrets.

So, choose wisely, and let me say HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, let's rock n roll!

Feeling.

There are too many reasons for someone to let his/ her love went away. Sometimes it’s only because of the parents, the look, and the attributes I called money and car. Sometimes it caused by something bigger, like the principle, the idealism and ideology, the religion. At another times, the trigger is something that unfortunately can’t be change, let’s remember the race.

And then there are another too many reasons of someone letting his/ her love went away that more painful than any other reasons. Another boy/ girlfriend to be, another love. Yeah, how about that? Or maybe another fuckin God’s decisions –which we should believe bring some goodness somehow, let’s say sickness or death. Eat those!

Well, on my inappropriate opinion side, there is also one other reason why someone letting his/ her love gone. Simply unfair –this is what exactly some of you, people, will say after read these next gross words. Just to get some fun. Just to make sure his/ herself that he/ she really into his/ her love. (Let’s pretend that the main character here is a woman, so I can call her ‘she’, just to make this writing easier to write). Maybe she left the man because she’s getting not too excited anymore into it. There’s always a good couple, married or unmarried, who gets break up because of the thing called BORED. That’s the fact, no matter how unfair it looks like for the mate.

So, the only thing you can do is to always treat your mate right. Don’t get too comfy with them till you do nothing to upgrade the relationship. Trust me, women feel bored too soon to believe. Don’t try to compete us, men, ha-ha.

Another 21st

Happy 7th month anniversary!
Much love, xo

Exhale . . .

This is a short fact about love and apology (well, as for me). For me both are the same. They should be declared explicitly. You can’t love without sounding “I love you”, because that will feel weak. Accordance, you can’t apologize without saying “I’m sorry”. You can’t just giving a cute doll or candies or maybe parcels and ask your friends to understand that you’ve felt guilty for anything bad you’ve did. That is selfish. What happened with those giant dignities? I never despise people who are wrong and then say sorry. Wrong-mistaken-wrong again-mistaken again, that’s what people do, that’s what I do, there’s nothing wrong about that, so why you should feel disgrace to ask for forgiveness? Anybody?

Every girl deserves for roses.

Every woman deserves better. Every girl deserves for any beautiful flowers in this world, and by the way you’re still more beautiful than any of them. So, don’t ever think that the rough man is enough or that the possessive one is OK. Never once you think that you won’t find the better guy, please don’t be afraid to loose someone by that thought. You’re too precious to waste your time for a silly fight or for a liter of tears, please don’t.

Listen to the whisper of your heart, sometimes it knows more than your clever brain. It’s not that I tell you to give up every man you’re being with, just don’t be plunged into grief or sorrow because of man and you think that that is love or sacrifice for love or kind of that thing.

When you don’t find any more smiles, maybe you just don’t love him, you just don’t realize yet.

I'm not a Lesbian, but what's wrong with them? Sometimes it's all about the genetic thing!!

Do you remember the time?

When we dance and sometimes

do a crime?

It’s so unfair, how the world separate us!

Only because I’m a girl and so you are..

What’s love then, if it is not blind?

It doesn’t look your bust or penis

to go to dine

For every single ladies out there, you

are a lot more beautiful than

what you think you are. Then,when

you’re in love, you’re dazzling!

Live Alive Your Love Life

Life is too short to be what others want you to be

Life is too short to be unhappy

Life is too short to not enjoyed

Life is too short to love someone you think you love

Life is too short to be afraid of losing something or even someone

Life is too short to be worry of being chaotic by losing them

Life is too short to protect them

Life is too short to be a sluggard

Life is too short to be just a follower

Life is too short to be someone else

Life is too short to rationalize love

Life is too short to be scared of making a love decision

Life is too short to pretend that you’re in love

Life is too short to let something or someone ruined it

Life is too short to be too organized

Life is too short for losing your spontaneity

Life is too short to be gloomy or depressed

Try what you always want to try.