LATE NIGHT GLIMPSE

Jodoh itu pilihan. Sesederhana analogi klasik memilih bunga di taman tanpa boleh kembali ke belakang. Diam di tempat takut menyesal melewatkan pemandangan di depan; melanjutkan perjalanan takut salah menyia-nyiakan yang sudah di tangan, apalagi kalau sudah terlanjur bikin taman yang kecil dengan isi bunga yang terbatas.

Mau takut yang mana pun juga adalah sebuah pilihan. Diam di tempat membunuh rasa penasaran dan strangely merelakan diri to fit in dengan ketidak-pas-an itu sendiri. Lanjut berjalan bertaruh dengan ketidakpastian dan mengambil resiko kesepian. Pilihan.

Tapi ada yang bukan pilihan. Keraguan. Dan semua pemikiran tentang ketakutan akan pilihan-pilihan yang ada. Kalau sudah begini tinggal keberanian yang berperan. Mau bertahan dalam keraguan atau berpetualang mencari jawaban.

Aug 4, 12:50 AM.

Politics

Her face is doomed

His mouth mumbling

Like a handsome idiot

Both are politician

Both pretty

They talk like the smartest

And secretly thinking about sex

Most of their kind is just like them

They talk talk talk

Then sex sex sex

And then comes one hero

Who sincerely cares

And everybody keeps telling

That it’s just for his image

Maybe nobody knows anymore

The slight difference

Between cares and tales

Old Memorial Park

That place was full with darkness

I could see nothing but white smelly smolder

I went there to pick up someone

Someone from my past

She’s pretty but fake

Like a mannequin

Her nose is perfect

And her hair is all black

Back then she was a waitress

In a restaurant right down the Sunset Street

Near my apartment, a place where I barely live

We’re not a lover

Nor a best friend

I just knew her from where I got my coffee

And she just knew me as one lousy customer

Not long from now she just got hit by a car

I saw her from across the street

And dropped my cup of coffee

I stood there for three hours

And she was brought to faraway

Far from Sunset Street

So I don’t drink coffee anymore

Instead, I went to that Memorial Park

To pick her up and trying to be a lover

One night I dream

I drink coffee and she walks next to me

Hand on hand, still on the Sunset Street

I want to be that silly woman who doesn't care much about everything. I want to be irresponsible and do what I like. I want to be sarcastic and not afraid of anything. I want to be free.

What if..

Hi, world. It's been a long time.. I don't feel really well today. I miss my friends a lott.. I feel lonely here.. I wish, and I really wish, I could turn back time and go to my very happy moments. I want to sing, I want to play.. Just this second, I want to close my eyes and fly. Fly to my long long happiness. I want a longgg deep hug. I'm too scared of everything. Gimana kalo semua mimpi-mimpi gw cuma semu. Gimana kalo gw bakal end up being nobody.. Gimana kalo I'm not that good or I'm not trying hard enough.. Gimana kalo gw kehilangan cinta dalam hidup gw.. Gimana kalo gw sendirian.. I'm scared and I just need a longg deep hugg.. Just this time.. Gimana kalo semua tulisan gw tentang mimpi memang cuma mimpi.. Gimana kalo semua perasaan excited gw tentang mimpi cuma berenti di situ aja.. Gimana? Ah, I feel sick..